Moira Dela Torre’s New Song ‘Paubaya’ (To Entrust) Is All About An Unrequited Love
Unrequited love —the feeling of having strong romantic feelings toward someone, only to find out that they do not feel the same way about us. Love that is not returned or rewarded. It is a one-sided experience that can leave us feeling pain, grief, and shame.
I rarely listened to Original Pilipino Music (OPM) and forgive me if I offended those OPM lovers out there. But driven by curiosity, I listened to the new single of Moira Dela Torre’s ‘Paubaya’ — the last track of the Patawad (Forgive) album under Star Music, and here’s my take.
You, I or every one of us has its own definition of love. The feeling of being loved and to love gives meaning to our existence. Human beings are social creatures and we all long for social connections with others. There comes a time when you’re living at peace with all the sense of contentment that everything is enough but there’s someone out of nowhere arrives into your life. You lower down the wall you built and guard you for ages, accepted the person (a savior or trojan horse, true love or another disaster, wise or foolish decision or whatever it may be), you shared laughter and sorrows, and even plan the future together.
You spent days that turn into months, months into years until the time comes into passed and plans into moments. But as time passes by, the truth is, the love you feel for someone during the early stages of a romance can feel much different than the love you may feel years later into the relationship.
Saan nagsimulang magbago ang lahat
Kailan nung ako’y ‘di na naging sapat
Ba’t di mo sinabi nung una pa lang
Ako ang kailangan, pero ‘di ang mahal
Where did everything start to change
When was I not enough
Why didn’t you say that before
I may be a need, but not the one you love
Every relationship goes under a series of tests but before you leave someone behind and look for another, ask yourself if it's really worth it. Because maybe, you’re just doing it to protect yourself and justify your actions to safeguard both of you when it’s not, you’re just being selfish!
From a psychological perspective, there are different types of romantic love; compassionate and passionate. Compassionate love involves feelings of mutual respect, trust, and affection while passionate love involves intense feelings and sexual attraction. So ask yourself before you play the victim in this game called love, “Are my feelings for this person compassionate or passionate?” “Do I really love this person or is it just because I need him/her for a season and not for a reason, or maybe both?”
Saan nag kulang ang aking pagmamahal
Lahat ay binigay nang mapangiti ka lang
Ba’t ‘di ko nakita na ayaw mo na
Ako ang kasama, pero hanap mo siya
Where did my love fall short
Everything is given just to make you happy
Why didn’t I see that you don’t want to
I am with you, but you long for someone
And there you go, you gave someone everything they want, but maybe not their needs. Where did I fall short? (Saan ako nagkulang?) you might be asking yourself that question too — It is important to acknowledge the problem and from where it’s coming from. Is your love a requited or unrequited love?
Not everyone has the gift of discernment. Discernment is the ability to determine objective differences among people, objects, or events. When you see things from a subjective perspective, you’re being judgemental, and that different from discerning.
At kung masaya ka sa piling niya
Hindi ko na pipilit pa
Ang tanging hiling ko lang sa kanya
‘Wag kang paluhain
At alagaan ka niya
And if you are happy with him
I will not force myself on you anymore
All I wish for him is (to)
‘Never make you cry
And take care of you
Saan natigil ang pagiging totoo
Sa tuwing mababanggit na mahal mo ako
Ba’t ‘di mo inamin na merong iba
Ako ang kayakap, pero isip mo siya
Where did the truth stops
Whenever you say you love me
Why don't you admit that you’re having an affair
I was embraced, but the mind thinks of someone
At kung masaya ka sa piling niya
Hindi ko na pipilit pa
Ang tanging hiling ko lang sakanya
‘Wag kang paluhain, at alagaan ka niya
And if you are happy with that person
I will not force myself on you anymore
All I wish for is (to)
‘Never make you cry
And take care of you
So many questions are building up in our minds and we tend to lose focus on finding the right answers but no matter how perfectly-looking and healthy a romantic bond can be, both of you can still see one another’s faults, vulnerabilities, or imperfections. Strong relationships allow for space for either both of you to make mistakes and use those occasions to help create closer bonds. Openness in a relationship is important when something unfavorable arises, open and honest communication is the key.
We tend to give up when we’re tired of being with someone but that’s not how a life-long relationship works. So before you associate yourself with an intimate relationship with someone please make sure that the timing is right; being “ready” to be in love with someone is essential because it involves commitment and responsibility. You must bear in mind that being in an intimate relationship means your openness is a vital aspect of a lasting relationship.
Ba’t ‘di ko naisip na merong hanggan
Ako yung nauna, pero siya ang wakas
Why did I not think there was an end
I was the first, but he was the last
Being in a relationship is like being an architect, where your job is to design and build a lifetime and strong relationship with your partner, and a partner.
Always and forever remember, when a relationship you built fails that doesn’t mean the work you’ve done means nothing. You built a man not for you, but for someone else’s. Yes, you built a man, better and more resilient for somebody else’s.
At kita naman sa ‘yong mga mata
Kung bakit pinili mo siya
Mahirap labanan ang tinadhana
Pinapaubaya
Pinapaubaya
Pinapaubaya ko na sakanya
And I see it in your eyes
Why you chose that person
It is difficult to fight the destiny
To entrust
To entrust
I entrust you to him
You cannot force someone to love you back and demands something that he cannot give. No love of man can satisfy the other. The long for true love can never be found in a man, but only of agape love — the love of God. When a relationship fails, it’s not from God because God’s love never fails.
To your someone that got away, never hate him but love him not because of who he is but because of who you are when you are with him.
Moira Dela Torre’s ‘Paubaya’ was premiered on October 23, 2020, with over 4.5 million views 48 hours after its release. Watch the official lyric video on this link.
